"He shall not be grounded to this world"

Some may know the story of Dexter's life. Heaven knows I tell parts of it often! Most people do not know just how special he is. Yes, I am biased, as his mother. But if you ever meet him, you will understand why. This blog is just a small sampling of why he makes my life better, and in turn, touches others too. This boy of mine, who was not expected to walk, much less run, has found a calling by playing the rough and tumble sport of American Football. But lets start way back, early in his life... at the beginning.

Inside the family cybercafe, 1997.

While I carried this last male child of mine into the final days of my pregnancy (he is the 5th child in the family), a mystical traveler came through our family cafe. He was a dreadlock-haired black man, musty smelling, dressed in layers of batik cloth and carrying a long, crooked walking stick embedded with stones and woven with leather strips. He was hungry and asked if he could paint my cafe windows for a meal, and I agreed to the barter - a very fair trade, as his work was quite charming - children frolicking on a grassy hillside, and you could almost hear their laughter as he brushed the strokes of paint on the glass. He then came up close to me, apologizing for intruding into my private space, asking if he could 'step inside my aura', that it was a magnificent power drawing him near, and he would tell me the wonders he could see about my unborn child. I was baffled at first, entirely skeptical, leery of the next scam coming my way. My mind works with facts and I want to analyze the world. But he was adamant, so I agreed as a way to humor him.

He started by telling me of the many bright colors this child held around me (guardian angels, I would later be told), and I wish now that I'd had a tape player to record this man's words. He knew this child would be 'special' and that his time here would touch lives. He told me he was of the old world and that he had lessons for many, and his presence would change people's lives. He explained to me to never fear asking for help in raising this child, that he was a child of many who would understand him. He never asked for anything in return, and said a silent blessing as he held his hands upon my full, round belly as the child inside me kicked against his hands. The words that he spoke as he stepped away was that this child I carried was "not grounded to this world", that his feet would not touch the earth as others do, and that he had chosen me to be his mother.

What this mystic could not have known is that this baby kicking my belly from the inside, would be born crippled by severe bilateral clubbed feet.

Dex's feet looked like this when he was born.

I pooh-poohed the notions this man had shared, forgot 90% of his words even. After all, this stranger didn't know anything about me, or my child. I forgot about his words...  For a while. Then things started happening that I cannot explain. Life was hard for our family, but Dexter was the one light that held it all together. He came to us, undoubtedly, at a time when we needed him most.

Dexter, always making life joyful.

Dexter started casting at age 5 days.

When Dexter was born, his struggles were many. Initially while in utero, they believed his right and left brain lobes were not connected (the ultra-sound had shown a missing corpus collosum). This anomaly would be devastating for a child. His MRI after birth showed that his brain lobes were indeed connected, but that his brain was abnormally large - 1/3 larger than normal. But they had no explanation. We joked that the kid just had extra RAM. The doctors focused more on his malformed feet. His legs were put into the tiniest of plaster casts when he was 5 days old. Each week, he was recasted as he grew. Many hours weekly spent massaging and stretching tendons, manipulating those feet into the position so that he may one day walk.... and he did! When those feet touched the ground, that lil guy with the oversized head was running! And he has never stopped!

Dexter's first snow experience.

As time passed, Dexter was leery about getting involved in team sports, mostly since his feet would ache so terribly after any activity.  He became involved in more educational type endeavors like Chess Club and striving to be the 'top' student in his class - which was a goal easily reached. He was every mother's dream, never a problem in discipline, obedient and loving. (Maybe this is when I should knock on wood?) When he was 8 years old, Dexter would be hit with yet another medical crisis. He was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes after hospitalization for Ketoacidosis. Insulin dependent diabetes is about the cruelest disease a young child can be handed, but this boy saw it differently. He chose to see it as a special gift (I know, what 8 year old does that??? This one!)  He one time asked "Why me?" and then answered his own question. "Because I am special and can handle it better than any of my friends could," he said. His view of the world has always fascinated me. He has never felt he was a burden. He has never let anyone tell him he couldn't do something. But he seemed to have a mountain of his own to climb when it came to sports.

 But then he found football.

Casey Matthews

Dexter never saw a football game, except on tv, before he played in his first one, suited up in pads and cleats, wearing his Jr High uniform and his XL helmet. He has still never seen a 'real game'. But he is a coaches dream - fast learner, strong, dependable, and like a clean slate, ready for the right training. He plays both offensive running back and defensive linebacker. He plays linebacker a lot like Casey Matthews, of recent Ducks fame (and just drafted to the Eagles). It's purely coincidence that he looks a lot like him too. Someday, he hopes to meet him. He lit the fire in Dexter's belly for football.

Jordan Kent with Alex and Dexter

On July 4th, 2011, Dexter went to bed, but had trouble sleeping. It wasn't because it was the Independence Day holiday with firecrackers and bbq smoke still wafting in the night air. It's because on July 5th, he was going to be testing himself like never before. He was anxious. And excited. And his sleep was fitful. He knew that his body would be his biggest nemesis. Would it fail him when he needed it most? Diabetes is a challenge to control in the best of times, especially during puberty, putting him through this kind of challenge would be testing a journey yet taken. And his feet that don't fit into shoes comfortably... would they handle the stress? He had more on his mind than other High School athletes that night. I woke him from his 'nest' of bedding as the sun came over the horizon, and he was up and dressed faster than most days. This was the day he was attending the first day of skill training with Jordan Kent's Edge Combines.

Dexter attended the Eugene camp.

We didn't have any idea what a 'combine' was, really. But we knew it was going to be hard work, and that Dexter could glean some excellent training from a former Duck running back that went on to play for the Seahawks and Rams. Jordan Kent is more than just a coach. He is an amazing mentor. He not only teaches skills on the field, but his lessons go beyond the turf into the real lives of these young men. He builds the confidence of each participant, yet gives them the drive to succeed beyond their wildest dreams! Dex had a blast the first day, pushing his own limits, even tho it was beyond his own imagination. The running, ball handling and play training was intense. It was the hottest day of the year too, reaching into the high 80s. We managed his blood sugars and he had no problems with going low or missing any of the schedule. Dexter, in his hand-me-down cleats, fought hard to give it his all. (When I had told him he needed to give 100% in this, he said, "Mom, I always give 110%!" And indeed he does, of course.) The adrenalin was pumping and his excitement was high as we left the field the first day, and he looked forward to the next morning's training. As we climbed out of the car going into the house he was limping.  As we removed his cleats, and his sweat laden socks, we discovered a three inch long open blister on the ball of his foot. We soaked it and bandaged it, he took a pain reliever, and then he quickly fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

Jordan Kent teaching stretches at the Edge Combine

The next morning, Dexter was eager, but in pain. We wrapped his foot, and borrowed another pair of cleats from a teammate, a better fitting pair. He headed out onto the astroturf and had a hard workout. About half way into the day, he stumbled over to me, and sat down, near tears. He was ready to give up, the pain was just too intense. One of the cleat pegs was directly under the blister, which by now was oozing and the bandage was slipping. I let him sit for a while on the sidelines, and I jerry-rigged a bandage with a cutout area that would take all the pressure off of the wound and put it onto the surrounding areas. As we were dealing with that, his blood sugars dropped out. Stress will exasperate the natural drop from exercise, and Dex was clearly in added stress from the pain, heat and activity. After giving him all the sugars we had packed, and still not getting his numbers up, I ran to get more. After about half an hour of pumping him full of sugar, he was starting to feel better, albeit not much. The nausea is often harder to stomach than the other symptoms, especially in the heat on the field. Dex was about to throw the towel in, and had said, he'd rather just go on home... defeat was at his door, knocking... That's when Jordan Kent came by and simply said "Dexter, are you doing ok?" Genuinely concerned, he hit the right heartstring in Dexter's drive to be the first football player with both clubbed feet and diabetes. He stood up and said "Yeah, just went low for a bit, but I'm doing better". He laced up his borrowed cleats, wiped his sweaty brow and headed out onto the field. I don't think Jordan ever knew about the humongous blister that Dex was experiencing.

 Dexter, day 2 of running back skill training.

 He pushed thru his skill testing, even tho he was physically drained and in pain. And he did damned good! His scores were absolutely competitive in the best of circumstances! This kid, who I was told was not grounded in this world, may never walk or play sports, especially football, found the strength and perserverence to not only finish a pro-level football combine, but excel at it. And this is just his freshman year of high school!

40 yd dash - 5.45 sec

The boy can RUN!

And JUMP!

Dex's vertical jump is 27". 

Pretty amazing for a 190 lb kid with clubbed feet and a blister!

Dex cannot wait for next year's Edge Combines! He is taking the skills he learns back to his team, and passing on the teaching and life skills he learned in two hot days of July, spent with a phenomenal man, Jordan Kent. I highly recommend this new kind of skill and esteem building camp to all football athletes. Edge Combines, High School level skill testing camps by Jordan Kent.

For now... this week. Dexter is being the little kid again. He is at Gales Creek Diabetes Camp. Feeling like a 'normal' fourteen year old. But somehow, I don't think Dexter will ever be considered 'Normal'. He is extraordinary. "He shall not be grounded to this world."

And to the angel who made it all possible for Dexter to attend,

you know who you are... 

A very special and heartfelt

Thank you.