I don't want to be a downer, but it's time. For many of my blogging friends from MySpace, you are familiar with the cancer battle of my young niece Jordan Davis. She celebrated her 18th birthday in November and the local paper did a story that was published Nov 26 (
No holding back Monticello teens life includes cancer fight ) She is at the end of her battle. The cancer is winning. I ask that you pray for a gentle and pain free passing for her. And for grace and support for her mother and father, sister and brother, and all her friends and family. She has truly been a light of hope in this often dark world... and it's time to say goodbye.
Jordan age 13 - before diagnosis
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Jordan age 14 |
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Jordan age 15 |
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First diagnosed with cancer |
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Starting treatments |
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Jordan's 16th birthday in hospital |
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Photo shoot in hospital |
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Photo shoot in hospital |
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Photo Shoot Dec 2009 |
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Prom 2010 |
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Jordan Aug 2010 |
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Rocking the mohawk |
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Homecoming 2011 |
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Back into treatment |
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Jordan's Make-a-Wish trip to Greece |
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She loves horses. |
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Davis family Feb 2011 |
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Queen for a Day at Ren Festival |
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Beautiful Queen Jordan |
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Homecoming 2011 |
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Senior Portraits |
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Jordan's final photo shoot Oct 2011 |
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Timeless Beauty |
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Unforgettable |
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Jordan's final shoot Oct 2011 - Timeless Beauty |
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Life with cancer being lived |
I am going to cut and paste today's Caring Bridge blog entry of my dear sister Tara, Jordan's mother, which she has kept in this 2 year journey. I cannot find words that express things as well as she does today.
Tara's Caring Bridge post...
Another day passes, it
has been a very busy week. Jordan did another Paracentsis on Tuesday.
I'm fairly sure I updated on Monday. They removed another 5.6 liters of
fluid, and replaced some with a protein fluid which made Tuesday night
much easier on her. It has been taking forever simply because her blood
pressure which has been low anyway was really low. We have started using
home health care, not because she really needed it but to start the
relationship again. Or that is how we felt about it on Wednesday. What a
difference a couple days make. Jenny is a wonderful nurse and has loved
Jordan since she started taking care of her back in 2009. Today she
came again, Jordan's blood pressure has been in the 60's over 30's
range, which is bad. Low even for Jordan. Jenny called Lexi.
I
love Lexi, and I want you to know that she has never lied to Jordan or
kept anything from her. That has been a choice that we have made as a
family. I know that when Jordan got sick in 2009 there were some scary
decisions that had to be made and I kept her in the loop and we
discussed things and she was allowed even at 15 to make decisions on her
care. Dr Neglia has always been honest with her and with us. We always
had hope and we were sure we could beat this as a family as long as we
had God with us. Paul has a faith regardless of how he shows it. He is
scared as am I, but he is also the family "fixer" and on this one he
can't do it. He can't "fix" Jordan.
Last
week when I went over the scan with Lexi and Dr Neglia was talking to
Jordan and I didn't feel really well.. I missed a lot of the scan
conversation. So on Tuesday I asked Lexi to go over it again and she
offered to show me the scan. I love looking at the scans even though
Jordan hates it. I get right in there and can see what Lexi is talking
about. she starts at the chest works her way down the body, stopping in
the lungs to show me the multiple spots on her lungs "they are still
kinda small" but the quanity of spots took my breath away. Honestly took
my breath out of my lungs. We moved the scan into her belly space and
the omentum. Which in the previous scan showed a "thickening" another
discriptive word was speckled. When we passed over the omentum there was
no thickening it was a "tumor". Think of the greater omentum like a
blanket, folded over the whole belly space, and yes it is a blanket
tumor covering her whole belly space. Which is causing the fluid
buildup. Then we followed her body down toward her rectum/bladder space
and another tumor is at/on/around/in her rectum and is effecting her
bladder. When Lexi and I were finished with that I asked her where her
T11 is so I could figure out her spine issues, and she said grab
yourself around the waist and that is your L5 go up 4,3,2,1 and then
starts T12. She then really casually said but the spots that we talked
about before are just a few, the whole spine is speckled with spots.
They are probably not going to impact her quality of life though. We
talked about Jordan's vivid dreams and the fact that she will move
around, have complete lucid conversations and then 2 hrs later not know
what we talked about. Lexi worries that the cancer has possibly moved
into her brain. This is it guys, the fact that this cancer is so
agressive and ugly, and that she may die from this is looming closer and
closer.
When
Jenny called Lexi today we made the decision that Lexi would stop by
for a visit. She felt she needed to talk to Jordan. A few weeks ago
Jordan did an advance medical directive which in teen speak said..
Jordan if your heart stops do you want me to start it? if you stop
breathing do you want a tube down your throat and we breath for you?
Jordan's answer was yes as long as you can get me back to a state where
I'm gonna recover and won't be on a machine. Another question was where
do you want to die.. answer~at home. Today when Lexi came she also
brought the tissue donation (tumor donation for study) and we had filled
out the cadaver donation paperwork on Tuesday. The part about this
whole process that is different from all the other parents that we know
going thru this is that their kids were not 18 and could not make
medical decisions for themselves, except for Sarah. I didn't understand
til now how helpless it feels.
Jordan signed a DNR form today. some may
not know what that is, Do Not Resuscitate. Her blood pressure is so low
that her body is starting to shut down. Not in a scary way, not in a
painful way. She is sleeping more, and moving less, she eats when she
wants to, drinks when she can. We can't force her to do anything she
doesn't want to do. Her friend, no her big sister Tirzah is here with
her husband Adam. They came to see her, to spend time with her. They are
in Jordan's bed (well I'm not sure where Adam is) doing her nails.
Talking and watching TV/Movies. They will be staying over night with us.
We have friends coming up tomorrow for breakfast, my sister Remington
in NE is driving up for the weekend tomorrow, my inlaws who left
yesterday will be driving up here by Sunday and my mom and sister Corrie
will be flying in on Monday.
I
asked Lexi, worst case~how long do we have. Her answer was worst case,
could be tomorrow. Best case a couple weeks. Her body can't function
with blood pressures of 60's over 30's. She is in moderate pain, her
back is really stiff, but we got some oral liquid pain meds because
Jordan doesn't want to be accessed at all. I'm going to say this in a
hopefully kind way.
If
you want to see Jordan you need to show up sooner rather than later. If
your kids want to see Jordan make a point of showing up. If you need a
ride, let me know I will do what ever I need to do to get you here to
see Jordan. Time isn't stopping, but our baby is dying. This hurts so
much. The sight of her father crying, her brother red faced and Jilly
laughing because she doesn't understand anything yet is painful. I
believe in miracles, I honestly do and if you pray please pray, if you
have faith of anykind add us to your list of
prayer/thoughts/feelings/beliefs. We will need the emotional support as
we progress on this journey. Jordan is at peace with her decision and
Lexi said that sometimes it only takes the family to be okay with her
letting go. She is tired, so tired of the fight. She has done an amazing
job and I'm so proud of her.
Nvr4gotten
and Always Remembered. Love lasts through illness and loss. I will
always keep her in my heart and mind she will NvrB4gotten. She is the
light of our life, our angel, our baby, our Jordan.
I'm
so sorry if I've hurt your feeling by not contacting you personally but
we have been dealing with direct family and I'm exhausted. I will try
to contact more people tomorrow as my phone recharges and we get settled
into the day.
I
can't think of a bible verse to quote, but I've never been any good at
that. Know that God is here in this house. Filling me at least with
comfort, if not taking away my fear completely. Pray for Paul, he will
need it the most I think. Letting go of Jordan is going to be very
difficult for all of us but mostly for Paul and Nick. I will update as
needed. Tomorrow might bring a rebound and a healther Jordan.
Thanks for keeping up with her journey.
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In hospital again. |
On November 22, 2011, mother and daughter got eternally inked in matching tattoos. The number inside the halo is Jordan's medical ID. Nvr4gotten and Always Remembered. With love.
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Jordan's tattoo |
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Tara's tattoo |
Many tears will fall...
Jordan Nicole Davis passed away at half past midnight Minnesota time on December 4, 2011. Her pain and struggle is over. She was held by her mother Tara, and she peacefully slipped away.... As beautiful in passing as she was in life. Peaceful. Calm. Surrounded by love.... RIP, sweet angel, You have earned your wings...
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Final hours of Jordan's journey, safely at home in her mother's arms. |
Tara's post on Caring Bridge after Jordan's passing.
"This came so much faster
than we expected. Jordan's halo now has wings. She earned them at
12:30am Sunday Dec 4, almost one month past her 18 birthday. She will
NvrB4gotten and I will always remember her as will most of you who have
been blessed with her light.
I
think the hardest part is the cold, she looked so pale and she got so
cold so fast. She passed in my arms with her Daddy and brother holding
her hands. Tirzah and Adam, Linda and John, Gabbie and Jordan's Adam
were with us too. We gave her permission to just let go. We love her
beyond words, this is the hardest thing we have every had to process.
Keep flying baby girl we love you." ~Tara Davis