An urgent request for prayers.

I don't want to be a downer, but it's time. For many of my blogging friends from MySpace, you are familiar with the cancer battle of my young niece Jordan Davis. She celebrated her 18th birthday in November and the local paper did a story that was published Nov 26 ( No holding back Monticello teens life includes cancer fight )  She is at the end of her battle. The cancer is winning. I ask that you pray for a gentle and pain free passing for her. And for grace and support for her mother and father, sister and brother, and all her friends and family. She has truly been a light of hope in this often dark world... and it's time to say goodbye.

Jordan age 13 - before diagnosis

Jordan age 14

Jordan age 15

First diagnosed with cancer

Starting treatments

Jordan's 16th birthday in hospital

Photo shoot in hospital

Photo shoot in hospital

Photo Shoot Dec 2009

Prom 2010

Jordan Aug 2010

Rocking the mohawk

Homecoming 2011

Back into treatment

Jordan's Make-a-Wish trip to Greece

She loves horses.

Davis family Feb 2011

Queen for a Day at Ren Festival

Beautiful Queen Jordan

Homecoming 2011

Senior Portraits

Jordan's final photo shoot Oct 2011

Timeless Beauty

Unforgettable

Jordan's final shoot Oct 2011 - Timeless Beauty

Life with cancer being lived

I am going to cut and paste today's Caring Bridge blog entry of my dear sister Tara, Jordan's mother, which she has kept in this 2 year journey. I cannot find words that express things as well as she does today.

Tara's Caring Bridge post...

Another day passes, it has been a very busy week. Jordan did another Paracentsis on Tuesday. I'm fairly sure I updated on Monday. They removed another 5.6 liters of fluid, and replaced some with a protein fluid which made Tuesday night much easier on her. It has been taking forever simply because her blood pressure which has been low anyway was really low. We have started using home health care, not because she really needed it but to start the relationship again. Or that is how we felt about it on Wednesday. What a difference a couple days make. Jenny is a wonderful nurse and has loved Jordan since she started taking care of her back in 2009. Today she came again, Jordan's blood pressure has been in the 60's over 30's range, which is bad. Low even for Jordan. Jenny called Lexi. 

I love Lexi, and I want you to know that she has never lied to Jordan or kept anything from her. That has been a choice that  we have made as a family. I know that when Jordan got sick in 2009 there were some scary decisions that had to be made and I kept her in the loop and we discussed things and she was allowed even at 15 to make decisions on her care. Dr Neglia has always been honest with her and with us. We always had hope and we were sure we could beat this as a family as long as we had God with us. Paul has a faith regardless of how he shows it. He is scared as am I, but he is also the family "fixer" and on this one he can't do it. He can't "fix" Jordan. 

Last week when I went over the scan with Lexi and Dr Neglia was talking to Jordan and I didn't feel really well.. I missed a lot of the scan conversation. So on Tuesday I asked Lexi to go over it again and she offered to show me the scan. I love looking at the scans even though Jordan hates it. I get right in there and can see what Lexi is talking about. she starts at the chest works her way down the body, stopping in the lungs to show me the multiple spots on her lungs "they are still kinda small" but the quanity of spots took my breath away. Honestly took my breath out of my lungs. We moved the scan into her belly space and the omentum. Which in the previous scan showed a "thickening" another discriptive word was speckled. When we passed over the omentum there was no thickening it was a "tumor". Think of the greater omentum like a blanket, folded over the whole belly space, and yes it is a blanket tumor covering her whole belly space. Which is causing the fluid buildup. Then we followed her body down toward her rectum/bladder space and another tumor is at/on/around/in her rectum and is effecting her bladder. When Lexi and I were finished with that I asked her where her T11 is so I could figure out her spine issues, and she said grab yourself around the waist and that is your L5 go up 4,3,2,1 and then starts  T12. She then really casually said but the spots that we talked about before are just a few, the whole spine is speckled with spots. They are probably not going to impact her quality of life though. We talked about Jordan's vivid dreams and the fact that she will move around, have complete lucid conversations and then 2 hrs later not know what we talked about. Lexi worries that the cancer has possibly moved into her brain. This is it guys, the fact that this cancer is so agressive and ugly, and that she may die from this is looming closer and closer. 

When Jenny called Lexi today we made the decision that Lexi would stop by for a visit. She felt she needed to talk to Jordan. A few weeks ago Jordan did an advance medical directive which in teen speak said.. Jordan if your heart stops do you want me to start it? if you stop breathing do you want a tube down your throat and we breath for you? Jordan's answer was yes as long as you can get me back to a state where I'm gonna recover and won't be on a machine. Another question was where do you want to die.. answer~at home. Today when Lexi came she also brought the tissue donation (tumor donation for study) and we had filled out the cadaver donation paperwork on Tuesday. The part about this whole process that is different from all the other parents that we know going thru this is that their kids were not 18 and could not make medical decisions for themselves, except for Sarah. I didn't understand til now how helpless it feels. 

Jordan signed a DNR form today. some may not know what that is, Do Not Resuscitate. Her blood pressure is so low that her body is starting to shut down. Not in a scary way, not in a painful way. She is sleeping more, and moving less, she eats when she wants to, drinks when she can. We can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Her friend, no her big sister Tirzah is here with her husband Adam. They came to see her, to spend time with her. They are in Jordan's bed (well I'm not sure where Adam is) doing her nails. Talking and watching TV/Movies. They will be staying over night with us. We have friends coming up tomorrow for breakfast, my sister Remington in NE is driving up for the weekend tomorrow, my inlaws who left yesterday will be driving up here by Sunday and my mom and sister Corrie will be flying in on Monday. 

I asked Lexi, worst case~how long do we have. Her answer was worst case, could be tomorrow. Best case a couple weeks. Her body can't function with blood pressures of 60's over 30's. She is in moderate pain, her back is really stiff, but we got some oral liquid pain meds because Jordan doesn't want to be accessed at all. I'm going to say this in a hopefully kind way. 

If you want to see Jordan you need to show up sooner rather than later. If your kids want to see Jordan make a point of showing up. If you need a ride, let me know I will do what ever I need to do to get you here to see Jordan. Time isn't stopping, but our baby is dying. This hurts so much. The sight of her father crying, her brother red faced and Jilly laughing because she doesn't understand anything yet is painful. I believe in miracles, I honestly do and if you pray please pray, if you have faith of anykind add us to your list of prayer/thoughts/feelings/beliefs. We will need the emotional support as we progress on this journey. Jordan is at peace with her decision and Lexi said that sometimes it only takes the family to be okay with her letting go. She is tired, so tired of the fight. She has done an amazing job and I'm so proud of her. 

Nvr4gotten and Always Remembered. Love lasts through illness and loss. I will always keep her in my heart and mind she will NvrB4gotten. She is the light of our life, our angel, our baby, our Jordan. 

I'm so sorry if I've hurt your feeling by not contacting you personally but we have been dealing with direct family and I'm exhausted. I will try to contact more people tomorrow as my phone recharges and we get settled into the day. 

I can't think of a bible verse to quote, but I've never been any good at that. Know that God is here in this house. Filling me at least with comfort, if not taking away my fear completely. Pray for Paul, he will need it the most I think. Letting go of Jordan is going to be very difficult for all of us but mostly for Paul and Nick. I will update as needed. Tomorrow might bring a rebound and a healther Jordan. 

Thanks for keeping up with her journey. 

In hospital again.

On November 22, 2011, mother and daughter got eternally inked in matching tattoos. The number inside the halo is Jordan's medical ID. Nvr4gotten and Always Remembered. With love.

Jordan's  tattoo

Tara's tattoo

Many tears will fall...

Jordan Nicole Davis passed away at half past midnight Minnesota time on December 4, 2011. Her pain and struggle is over. She was held by her mother Tara, and she peacefully slipped away.... As beautiful in passing as she was in life. Peaceful. Calm. Surrounded by love.... RIP, sweet angel, You have earned your wings...

Final hours of Jordan's journey, safely at home in her mother's arms.

 Tara's post on Caring Bridge after Jordan's passing.

"This came so much faster than we expected. Jordan's halo now has wings. She earned them at 12:30am Sunday Dec 4, almost one month past her 18 birthday. She will NvrB4gotten and I will always remember her as will most of you who have been blessed with her light.
I think the hardest part is the cold, she looked so pale and she got so cold so fast. She passed in my arms with her Daddy and brother holding her hands.  Tirzah and Adam, Linda and John, Gabbie and Jordan's Adam were with us too. We gave her permission to just let go. We love her beyond words, this is the hardest thing we have every had to process. Keep flying baby girl we love you."  ~Tara Davis